Roman and Mediaeval History, Illlustrated Travel Journals, Mediaeval Literature, Geology

  Things you find during research

Roman legion on the march north. A great big hairy kilted Scotsman jumps up on a hillock "Aye so you're Romans eh? - gie me yer ten best men then". Ten legionnaires are dispatched. Bang, crash, wallop! . . None returns. A hundred soldiers are sent up. Five minutes later a lone survivor struggles back, but drops dead before he can say a word. Risking all, the commander sends his whole legion up the hill. Screams, shouts and the commotion of battle follow. Then on the sky line a lone Roman officer approaches. "Sir. Sir. They've cheated. They lied! There were two of them all the time . . ."

(Filched from this site).

Well, maybe the Gask Project will be able to discover the truth behind that one. *grin*
That's a pretty weird way to conflate two very widely separated historical periods ;P
Jokes don't need to concern themselves with historical accuracy :-)
I thought he said "Are you a Roman in the gloamin"?
I've seen that, except with the English :).
Now I'm wondering what kind of jokes Roman soldiers actually told.
I sorta love the image of a Roman in lorica segmentata poking his pilum at a pre-Culloden Scot, kilted and waving a basket hilt broadsword that the Romance writers so often call for a claymore.

I wanted an excuse to post a link to the Gask Project. :-)

you could have Damie travel back into that time and fight the Loch Ness monster. Betcha Columba would be glad for some help.

they wouldn't have needed two to fight the English. :D

good question. Maybe the Pompeii graffitti have something?
Thought the Pompeii graffitti was "For a good time..."
One of Lindsay Davis' Falco novels, I think it's called something like 'Two for the Lions', has a good line in Roman graffiti. The subject is Rumex, a hunk gladiator, and the graffiti go something like this:

Our money's on Rumex - The lads from the leather factory

Rumex can have me any time he likes - Aelia Clodia

He already has! - Clodia's Best Friend

He's dead when I catch him - Clodia's Mum

Rumex has the biggest sword in the arena!

And his [doodle] is bigger too!!!
Roflol. Thanks for sharing, Carla.

My bets are on Clodia's mom. :)
Ah, I thought the point was just how much better Scottish men are...
Especially bearded crime writists, Sandra. :-)
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The Lost Fort is a blog based on my travels in Germany, the UK and other places, with essays on Roman and Mediaeval history illustrated with lots of photos of old castles, cathedrals, Roman remains, and beautiful landscapes. You may also find the odd essay about geology or Mediaeval literature.

All texts (except comments by guests) and photos (if no other copyright is noted) on this blog are copyright of Gabriele Campbell.

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Location: Germany

I'm a blogger from Germany with a MA in Literature and History which doesn't pay my bills, so I use it to research blogposts instead. I'm interested in everything Roman and Mediaeval, avid reader and sometimes writer, opera enthusiast, traveller with a liking for foreign languages and odd rocks, photographer, and tea aficionado. And an old-fashioned blogger who hasn't yet gotten an Instagram account. :-)